All the GOOD Men are NOT taken!

Hello Friends! My favourite blog site aside Simply Cheska, is www.shannonyvette.com. The reason should not be far fetched, as my heart is always in tune with my purpose as a woman (and the men as well). I am not afraid that I need a man to complete me, but it does not stop me from living a satisfying and happy life. 

This article by Shannon, is clearly the truth but most women still hide under the lie of "if no man is there to share this or that with me, my life must be put on hold! No! Admit your need, but never limit yourself to your need...Share with me, another eye opener and edifying piece courtesy Shannon Yvette.

“All the good guys are taken! All the rest are cheaters, gay, liars, slackers or momma’s boys!” Hmm, this paints a bleak picture. Being cynical and negative are often a covering for a woman who is afraid to admit that she does truly want and need a man… It’s easier to hide our fear of rejection through pessimism, but it makes us cowards, because if we convince ourselves that all the good men are taken, we don’t even have to try…

Vulnerability EXPOSED!

My old hair dresser in Los Angeles, “Ms. Faye” was part stylist, part prophet. One day while I was visiting her shop she asked me about my desire to get married. I proceeded to tell her that, “I was content and satisfied in my spiritual life, I was pursuing my purpose and I did not want any distractions, I was truly fulfilled as a single woman.” The words sounded so convincing and eloquent rolling off of my lips that I impressed myself.

Ms. Faye put her scissors down and spoke with a piercing, calm authority, “Shannon, why are you lying? You KNOW you want a man, you are just afraid to admit it because you don’t want to open yourself up to the possibility of rejection!” Her words sliced through me like a knife. I cannot explain what happened next, but all of my defenses fell in the presence of this powerful woman of faith. I began to weep. HUGE tears rolled down my face and began to wash away the self-protective outer shell my soul carefully constructed. I had been “uncovered and exposed.” She was right, I was too prideful, too fearful and too ashamed to admit that I wanted and needed a man in my life.

Wanting a man is NOT the same as being desperate.

I remember one of my old business clients, a beautiful woman in her late 30’s telling me about the new condo she recently purchased. She described each room of the house in detail and then told me her absolute favorite place in her new place was her sitting area, where she had a beautiful natural wood burning fireplace. I asked her how often she cuddled up in front of it with a good book or cup of tea. She said “I have never turned it on. I am waiting for a man to share it with, I feel foolish sitting alone in front of romantic fireplace, so I am waiting.” I remember the sadness and the profound sense of loss I felt for this woman who actually believed that her life needed to be put on hold for a man. 

Desperation makes you a weak, needy woman and it makes you an open target for the wrong man.The energy of desperation is the opposite of a STRONG, Independent woman who pretends to not need a man, but they are both birthed from fear.

Never put life “on hold” for a man.

Admitting that we desire love does not mean putting life on hold until it comes. It actually means the opposite. The more we passionately pursue life, truth and our unique purpose, the more alluring, beautiful and inviting we become as women. When we take off the “TOUGH, this shop is CLOSED for business” persona and allow our authentic desires to shape our beauty and femininity, we will be surprised at how much goodness we attract. All the good men are NOT taken, but good men are certainly not attracted to women who appear invincible.

Telling the truth restores our honor as women.

Truth is a liberator. That day in Ms. Faye’s salon chair I was set free from fear. I was free to acknowledge and embrace my desires. It was liberating to admit aloud, “YES! I desire marriage and a wonderful man to share my life with!” Denying what my heart wanted was a false attempt to manage future perceived pain, but I was already in pain, the pain of denial.

To open my heart meant to risk the possibility of rejection, being hurt, abandoned, disappointed or betrayed. But admitting my desire for a man was equally an opportunity to be loved, honored, pursued, valued and adored. Two is better than one. And truth is better than a lie. Surrender and faith are equally important when it comes to acknowledging our desires. Surrender allows us the freedom to release the fear-based outer shell and live by faith from the inner truth of what our hearts need to flourish. When we honor our own hearts, we open ourselves to attract the one good man who is already seeking us"

XOXO

Simply Cheska...