Hello Friends!
Over the weekend, I saw first-hand how most women are mis understood and taken for granted because they chose to live their lives the way that they deem fit! You might say it's a free world etc. but we must look at how the term independent woman is mis represented in our society today (especially in the Nigerian context).Being an Independent woman, goes beyond the song"Independent Women" by the popular girl group "Destiny's Child".
Independence is a state or quality of being independent; it’s a freedom from control, support, influence, aid or the likes. It is a kind of competence... Most people view independent women as stubborn, loose and controlling! I have some good news for you: That woman who is supportive of herself, who works hard and has to support a kid (or kids) or who does not like to be put under in anyway, is as feeble as they come! she needs Love, support and some form of influence like the rest of the women out there! Over time, women all over the world have come to discover that they are as blessed as the men and if they just put their hearts on their dreams, they can become whoever they desire! A real independent woman is one who is not afraid to set sail into the sea of uncertainty nor take risks in life. She is that woman who would not only support herself but support those around her including her man! A real independent woman is selfless but self-conscious of her dreams...She is determined to see all of her dreams come alive with or without the support of anyone. Sincerely? A real independent woman is not afraid to cry nor ask for help when the need arises as she knows she can be weak and strong at different times...Just like any man out there.
There are some cultures in Nigeria and maybe other parts of the world that frown at the woman's success or if you like, get jealous when she prospers...I particularly call this evil because God never intended that only the man has the skill to succeed (both man and woman were made to be fruitful and to multiply and of course support each other)In a situation where the woman in her quest to achieve her dreams in life does not get the needed support, she has to toil and stand up for herself! Is anything wrong in that? I am of the school of thought that a woman as irrelevant as she is sometimes made to believe, is the back bone of any man. She must realize that her primary role in the script of creation is to SUPPORT. Has it ever occurred to anyone that being independent is her own way of showing that needed support? A woman that cannot work or do anything on her own is less of a woman. When her man gets down and needs help, she would be no where worth having around! So please let the independent woman be. There should be no apologies for being free to do all that is necessary to be happy! No one should be labelled a slut for being her own person please! It is so unfair! The other day, a friend of mine from out of town, visited me for the first time and he could not just stop saying'' you mean you live here all by yourself with your siblings?'' After he left, his attitude changed! He owed it all to being busy etc. but I owe it to being insecure and totally selfish!
Anyone who is not happy at your success/progress in life, should not be termed a friend at all! Being independent is liberating and self-discovering! No one should be ashamed of that. Be happy that you are competent to lift up anyone including your man, when the chips are down...That's why you are a WOMAN.
XOXO
Simply Cheska.
There are some cultures in Nigeria and maybe other parts of the world that frown at the woman's success or if you like, get jealous when she prospers...I particularly call this evil because God never intended that only the man has the skill to succeed (both man and woman were made to be fruitful and to multiply and of course support each other)In a situation where the woman in her quest to achieve her dreams in life does not get the needed support, she has to toil and stand up for herself! Is anything wrong in that? I am of the school of thought that a woman as irrelevant as she is sometimes made to believe, is the back bone of any man. She must realize that her primary role in the script of creation is to SUPPORT. Has it ever occurred to anyone that being independent is her own way of showing that needed support? A woman that cannot work or do anything on her own is less of a woman. When her man gets down and needs help, she would be no where worth having around! So please let the independent woman be. There should be no apologies for being free to do all that is necessary to be happy! No one should be labelled a slut for being her own person please! It is so unfair! The other day, a friend of mine from out of town, visited me for the first time and he could not just stop saying'' you mean you live here all by yourself with your siblings?'' After he left, his attitude changed! He owed it all to being busy etc. but I owe it to being insecure and totally selfish!
Anyone who is not happy at your success/progress in life, should not be termed a friend at all! Being independent is liberating and self-discovering! No one should be ashamed of that. Be happy that you are competent to lift up anyone including your man, when the chips are down...That's why you are a WOMAN.
XOXO
Simply Cheska.
This has been a big and controversial issue all over,not only in Nigeria alone.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion ;its low esteemed,insecurity,inferiority complex men (people)tend to tag a successful single woman to be sleeping with men to make that,no doubt there are such out there but they are not classified under "a hard working successful women".its a shame that our feminine and fragile statues has been greatly mistaken to be a failure,if you read the characteristics of a virtuos woman in the bible,she is not lazy,infact she is a hard working woman,she makes best use of her hands and still keep her home.
Talking about friends......sometimes it's jealousy ,intimidation on their part and human assumption and criticism....some people tends to analyse your position and success ,then ruled you out that you don't merit it rather they should be the one that truly merits it......it's pure selfiness,jealousy,indecency,irresponsibility etc.
"know my story before you know my success "
Keep your head high....am so proud of strong hard working
I totally agree with you Oly! It's the most lowly stage anyone can get to (not wanting a woman to attain her desired height of success) Proverbs 31 is the best case scenario of who and what a woman should be,and in our present society, the independent woman, fits that picture!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the words of encouragement...*hugs/kisses*