Hello Friends!
Few years ago, I was introduced to a guy by a mutual friend who thought that I needed to come out of my hurt zone ( I had just left a relationship that ended due to the guy's relocation abroad). Although it was just two years after my last relationship, I decided to give it a try. Who knows! I thought...
It was the worst date ever as the guy had no sense of courtesy or manners! He had no regard for what people felt or their opinions...A guy that would intimidate waiters in public is a pig as far as I was concerned!
So, in spite of his silly but late explanations, I knew I would'nt be able to condone such behaviors... I am a people's person and I love interacting with people. I love respect and I readily give it as well. One may ask why I didn't give this guy a chance at my heart*winks*. The sole reason is that I know what I want in a relationship. Every guy or girl should always have this at the tip of his / her fingers... I sincerely believe that the best way to enjoy and have a lasting relationship is to know what you want in that particular relationship. Never settle for less. This does not mean you should be rigid and not ready or willing to compromise, far from it! Every type of relationship entails one form of compromise or the other...To compromise for and accommodate another person, is usually what gives every relationship a "spark"...
From my Little experience and from learning from other people's experiences, I have coined the following ways of enjoying any kind of relationship:
- Know what you want from that particular relationship and work towards achieving every aim.
- Get to appreciate the fact that the next person can never be you and should not be encouraged to be you. Appreciate him/her for what they are. This however does not mean you must accept anything that would not make you happy...
- Put in effort in seeing the relationship grow...
- Never take your friend/partner for granted. Respect his/her opinions, even if they seem stupid to you...
- Listen, Listen and always Listen to him/her...No man is an island.
- Ladies! Respect your man and remember that he is your head as the woman...No matter how many degrees you have, let him be the man. When you do, your unique role as the woman would shine through...
- Respect his/her family - he/she did not fall from the sky so, appreciate his/her roots. Get to know where he/she comes from. If you end up together as man and wife, his family to an extent would determine the success or failure of your marriage.
- Communicate! Communicate and Communicate even more! Thank God for sms, bbms, emails etc. There should be no reason why a simple hello should not be sent once in a while? It goes a long way to show some form of appreciation and care. Discuss issues that bother about your personalities and never assume you know what his/her opinions would be...
- Try and inculcate your goals and dreams into his/hers. I do not mean you should lose and forget yourself in what he/she believes in, I mean you should see how well your dreams and goals in life can be achieved while you are together...
- In all of these, maintain your personality! The reason why most marriages fail, is because most women forget what plans they had for their lives! They forget and abandon their dreams...All because of the man? Maintain your dreams and remain you!
Relationships are supposed to help us become better people. When the reverse is the case, there is trouble!
XOXO
Simply Cheska.
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