Hello Friends!
If you read the first part of this article, then you must be eager to know how it ends...
A fellow colleague is of the opinion that religious people are painfully the obvious culprits where gossip / tale bearing is concerned. Why? I asked. We both agreed that this is because these individuals need to maintain their ‘pious holy than thou personalities’.How on earth can tearing another down, maintain your ‘goodness?’ The irony of it all is that while you think you are getting high by bringing someone else down, you are actually bringing yourself to the lowest point of self – destruction.
Let us get back to our story…
Within a few days, the news of pastor Tobi’s ‘hypocrisy’ had spread around the church and the only person that seemed not to know what was going on, was pastor Tobi. He observed that some church members had developed a bad attitude towards him and some were giving him a cold shoulder and he didn't know why.Although he asked some close people in church, no one was bold to tell him (by now, the sister had circulated the photo to all who cared enough to have it). One of the deacons however couldn’t bear the pain and rejection pastor Tobi was going through and so decided to confront him. He told him that his ‘sin’ had been found out, so he advised that he apologizes to the whole church.
‘What sin?’ Pastor Tobi asked in shock! The deacon further advised him not to deny or take the ‘holier than thou’ position, because sister XYZ saw him taking stout at brother’s ABC‘s house warming! That’s impossible screamed pastor Tobi, but the deacon reached out and gave him the concrete evidence (the picture) and said there was no need to deny because the evidence was too strong. Sister XYZ was then summoned and she admitted that she felt terribly hurt to see the pastor taking alcohol despite his spiritual standing.
It was at this point that pastor Tobi narrated the real story and even said that he was offered a seat where people taking alcohol sat and he didn't really like it but he could not refuse the seat that the host offered him.
At this juncture, sister XYZ felt terribly bad about what she had done and expressed remorse for not even giving pastor Tobi the benefit of a doubt. She asked for forgiveness and promised to go back to tell everyone the true story. Pastor Tobi then asked this sister and the deacon to follow him to the children’s church where he got a pillow and cut it open. By this act, all the fluff and fiber inside the pillow were released into the air. He then asked sister XYZ to go and retrieve every single one of the fluff and fiber and stuff them back into the pillow case… This was a difficult or impossible task for either sister XYZ or anyone to fulfill…
The lesson that pastor Tobi was trying to give here by his illustration, is that since it was not possible to retrieve the pillow fluffs, it is also not possible to retrieve false accusations in its entirety!
From experience and people’s views, I have come to understand that the easiest way to identify when a conversation is a gossip is to be conscious of what you are talking about. If you are talking about the problem areas of someone and your discussion does not include how to help that person or support the individual to resolve his / her problem, then it’s quiet likely that your conversation is turning into a bad gossip.
When we are talking about someone, we really need to stop and ask ourselves if we are helping the situation or not. Gossiping and tale bearing for some people is a long time habit, but we can put an end to it if we learn to tame and control our tongues – no matter how juicy the story may sound.
Last words: Psychologists say that the person who gossips really does not care about others…
XOXO
Simply Cheska
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